Dead Ideas
A Creative Director once told me that advertising is where good ideas go to die. So, here lies some of my favorite ideas and scripts that unfortunately never saw the light of day.
"Bag the City", FreshDirect
To demonstrate that FreshDirect is the grocery delivery service of real New Yorkers, this gorilla-marketing stunt used the brand’s iconic bags to turn the city’s "longest-standing” residents into everyday shoppers. Each statue that we'd "bag" was to be given a unique delivery order, which could be purchased by scanning the QR code listed on their FreshDirect delivery bag.
"We Got Beef" TV, FreshDirect
WE GOT BEEF :30
OPEN ON TWO MEN, CARTER AND DANIEL, WALKING TOWARD EACH OTHER ON A RESIDENTIAL NEW YORK SIDEWALK. MEANWHILE, THE FRESHDIRECT LOGO APPEARS ON SCREEN.
LOGO:
AFTER A BEAT, CARTER AND DANIEL ACCIDENTALLY BUMP INTO EACH OTHER AND GET REAL AGGRESSIVE.
CARTER:
DANIEL:
JUST THEN, FARAH, OUR SPOKESWOMAN, ENTERS THE PICTURE TRYING TO DIFFUSE THE SITUATION.
FARAH:
CARTER AND DANIEL STARE AT FARAH CONFUSED. JUST THEN, SHE BEGINS PULLING VARIOUS BEEF-RELATED FOOD ITEMS AND DISHES OUT OF HER FRESHDIRECT DELIVERY BAG.
FARAH:
CARTER:
DANIEL:
FARAH:
CUT TO CARTER WHO’S NOW HOLDING A PACKAGE OF ROAST BEEF.
CARTER:
FARAH:
DANIEL TURNS TO APOLOGIZE TO CARTER.
DANIEL:
CARTER:
FARAH:
FARAH TILTS HER HEAD, REALIZING SHE JUST MADE A SUBTLE BEEF-RELATED PUN.
VO:
LOGO
"Virtual Vegas Vows", Visit Las Vegas
With its lenient marriage laws and iconic wedding chapels, Vegas is known as the "Wedding Capital of the World." So, when all of life was put on hold in early 2020, this interactive microsite experience tapped into the city’s matrimonial prowess and turnkey resources to provide the first-ever virtual wedding service to couples who were otherwise forced to postpone their big day due to a global pandemic.
WE GOT BEEF :30
OPEN ON TWO MEN, CARTER AND DANIEL, WALKING TOWARD EACH OTHER ON A RESIDENTIAL NEW YORK SIDEWALK. MEANWHILE, THE FRESHDIRECT LOGO APPEARS ON SCREEN.
LOGO:
AFTER A BEAT, CARTER AND DANIEL ACCIDENTALLY BUMP INTO EACH OTHER AND GET REAL AGGRESSIVE.
CARTER:
DANIEL:
JUST THEN, FARAH, OUR SPOKESWOMAN, ENTERS THE PICTURE TRYING TO DIFFUSE THE SITUATION.
FARAH:
CARTER AND DANIEL STARE AT FARAH CONFUSED. JUST THEN, SHE BEGINS PULLING VARIOUS BEEF-RELATED FOOD ITEMS AND DISHES OUT OF HER FRESHDIRECT DELIVERY BAG.
FARAH:
CARTER:
DANIEL:
FARAH:
CUT TO CARTER WHO’S NOW HOLDING A PACKAGE OF ROAST BEEF.
CARTER:
FARAH:
DANIEL TURNS TO APOLOGIZE TO CARTER.
DANIEL:
CARTER:
FARAH:
FARAH TILTS HER HEAD, REALIZING SHE JUST MADE A SUBTLE BEEF-RELATED PUN.
VO:
LOGO
FreshDirect
Ay, whoa! You got beef with me!?
Yeah, I got beef with you!
Eaaaaasy now, fellas. We can all have beef with each other.
Organic ground beef. Beef sirloin. Even roast beef!
Now that you mention it, I have been craving roast beef.
I’ll take some beef brisket if you have it.
Of course! FreshDirect is your one-stop shop for all the best food in the city.
This is some real fresh-from-the-source beef.
Delivered direct to you.
I didn’t mean to have beef with you. But I would love to have my beef with you.
I’d love that, too.
Another job well done.
FreshDirect.
Real food that’s real New York.
CAUGHT :30
OPEN INSIDE A DARK, SPOOKY HOUSE. LIGHTNING FLASHES AS A WOMAN NAMED LAURIE IS SEEN FRANTICALLY ENTERING A BEDROOM AND CLOSING THE DOOR BEHIND HER, CLEARLY TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM SOMEONE. THE WHOLE SCENE FEELS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A CLASSIC HORROR MOVIE.
CUT TO A CLOSE-UP OF A PAIR OF MENACING BOOTS SLOWLY WALKING TOWARD THE BEDROOM LAURIE JUST ENTERED.
CUT BACK TO INSIDE THE BEDROOM AS LAURIE SCRAMBLES TO FIND A PLACE TO HIDE. SHE LOOKS UNDER THE BED, BEHIND THE DRESSER, EVEN CONSIDERS JUMPING OUT THE WINDOW BEFORE OPTING FOR THE CLOSET.
ONCE SHE’S HIDDEN, THE BEDROOM DOOR SLOWLY CREAKS OPEN. THE KILLER ENTERS. LAURIE PEERS THROUGH THE SLATS OF THE CLOSET AS THE KILLER SLOWLY PACES AROUND THE ROOM, MACHETE IN HAND, WEARING A NONDESCRIPT GOALIE MASK.
LAURIE PUTS A HAND OVER HER MOUTH, TRYING TO SILENCE HER BREATHING.
JUST THEN…
LAURIE’S STOMACH:
LAURIE QUICKLY GRABS HER TUMMY, DESPERATELY TRYING TO MAKE THE NOISES STOP.
THE KILLER, HEARING THE INCESSANT GRUMBLINGS, SLOWLY TURNS TOWARD THE CLOSET.
CUT TO A FREEZE FRAME OF LAURIE, REALIZING SHE’S CAUGHT.
VO:
SUPER + VO:
LOGO
"Killer Relief" TV; Pepto-Bismol
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmble.
Should’ve gone with Pepto.
PEPTO BISMOL
KILLER RELIEF
CAUGHT :30
OPEN INSIDE A DARK, SPOOKY HOUSE. LIGHTNING FLASHES AS A WOMAN NAMED LAURIE IS SEEN FRANTICALLY ENTERING A BEDROOM AND CLOSING THE DOOR BEHIND HER, CLEARLY TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM SOMEONE. THE WHOLE SCENE FEELS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A CLASSIC HORROR MOVIE.
CUT TO A CLOSE-UP OF A PAIR OF MENACING BOOTS SLOWLY WALKING TOWARD THE BEDROOM LAURIE JUST ENTERED.
CUT BACK TO INSIDE THE BEDROOM AS LAURIE SCRAMBLES TO FIND A PLACE TO HIDE. SHE LOOKS UNDER THE BED, BEHIND THE DRESSER, EVEN CONSIDERS JUMPING OUT THE WINDOW BEFORE OPTING FOR THE CLOSET.
ONCE SHE’S HIDDEN, THE BEDROOM DOOR SLOWLY CREAKS OPEN. THE KILLER ENTERS. LAURIE PEERS THROUGH THE SLATS OF THE CLOSET AS THE KILLER SLOWLY PACES AROUND THE ROOM, MACHETE IN HAND, WEARING A NONDESCRIPT GOALIE MASK.
LAURIE PUTS A HAND OVER HER MOUTH, TRYING TO SILENCE HER BREATHING.
JUST THEN…
LAURIE’S STOMACH:
LAURIE QUICKLY GRABS HER TUMMY, DESPERATELY TRYING TO MAKE THE NOISES STOP.
THE KILLER, HEARING THE INCESSANT GRUMBLINGS, SLOWLY TURNS TOWARD THE CLOSET.
CUT TO A FREEZE FRAME OF LAURIE, REALIZING SHE’S CAUGHT.
VO:
SUPER + VO:
LOGO
